Never longed but forever gone
by k-oss3620
Summary: crazy stuff happens witch is not expected


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but if it was mine I would not let anyone write about Naruto or I would sue them

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Naruto but if it was mine I would not let anyone write about Naruto or I would sue them. Further more for all those people who think I would not be able to find them you are dead wrong because I know people who know people **who know people** that will find you they are called "?".

_**Parings: **_Sasuke and Naruto (Friends) sorry fan girls/guys not what you think. Hinata and her teddy bear. Itachi and his TV supposedly watching himself…on a blank screen…at his brothers house… when he is not home. Sakura and herself (Narcissus). Ino and her mind…Sasuke is in it…bastard. You'll see at the end what we mean. Neji and Tenten on a date… which went horribly wrong…somehow at Naruto's house. Also **many** clones of Naruto, you'll see what we mean.

_**Warnings: **_Not to much language but excessive pranks…on Kakashi. (Boo hoo) Gaara invasion. Naruto getting kicked in the nuts. Naruto farts in Ino's face on accident. One birdie crashing into a tree. (Poor bird) One tornado tacking Sakura away… but she unfortunately she comes back. Itachi (Toilet humor). Naruto's clones running around…everywhere.

"**Never longed but forever gone" **

It was long hot days in the village of Konoha were we will find Naruto sleeping on a tree. With that orange jumpsuit on. When all of a sudden the branch breaks. Almost falling to his death he lands on the already hurt Lee. While getting up he sees Lee in pain. Instead of helping he runs the other way like a rabbit with his tail on fire.

**Feeling sorry for Lee he goes to his house and has a cup of tea with him self then the feeling of sorrow went away. Looking outside his window he spots himself in the window and pokes at it. Feeling bored he looks for Sasuke the great at sucking ass. **

**The not knowing Naruto did not know that Sasuke was already looking for him. Running down the street like an insane idiot he trips over a ladybug, which was having a cup of tea. The ladybug, not looking like a lady anymore was pissed. She got up and beat the hell out of Naruto with Sasuke watching close by. **

**Sasuke finds Naruto on the ground looking like shit. He let out a big sigh and starts to laugh. **

" **You got your ass handed to you by a bug." He said this while crying of laughter. Naruto looks at Sasuke and flips him off. Sasuke comes up to Naruto and steps on his hand.**

" **Care to do that again." He said in an emotionless tone. **

" **No" Naruto mumbled terrified. Naruto got up and dusted himself off at that moment Sakura appeared. **

" **What the hell happened to you?" Sakura Said with laughter in her eyes. Trying to sound cool in front of Sakura he replies.**

" **I choked on a bean." Sakura falls on the floor dying of laughter. **

" **Most people would tell that story in a way to make them sound …better." Sasuke said glancing at Naruto and the dead Sakura who came back to life. **

" **Yeah…I know. I wasn't trying to lie." Naruto says while playing with his nose. **

" **You got your ass kicked by a bug." Sasuke screamed. Sakura over hearing this starts crying with laughter and holding her sides. Naruto telling Sasuke to " SHHH" covers Sasuke's mouth with his dirty hand. In the distance you could hear many people crying with laughter. **

**All of a sudden a blur of green comes and kicks Naruto in the knee, it was none other than Rock Lee. Capturing that on tape Sasuke hurries home and puts it on Youtube and comes back to Naruto and the still laughing Sakura. **

**Naruto walks home with a sad face but is determined to kick Sasuke's butt the next day. **

**The next day, while on the computer, Naruto got e-mail from someone who blocked his or her name. Naruto clicks the link and to his surprise he sees himself on a video getting his ass handed to him by the ladybug and getting kicked in the knee by Lee. He glances down to look at the hits it was over 3 million. **

**At that moment he decided not to go out side for the rest of his life. (TIME SKIP)**

**Forgetting to buy food he was only able to last a few hours. Naruto walks outside to find the whole village at his place laughing. Naruto runs back into his house and slams the door. Thinking to himself " **_**That dam Sasuke! I have to find a way to get back at him."**_** With a pencil he starts devising a devious plan that involves Kakashi getting hurt. **

**The Next day, While eating the computer, Naruto puts his plan into action. Knowing that the village was still out there he creates a clone to go out and distract them. To his surprise it worked so he slipped away so his plan would go into action. **

**While running down the road he sees a penny and picks it up.**

" **See a penny pick it up and all day long you have good luck." He says holding the penny up in the air. Sneaky like a ninja he sees Sasuke through a window looking at a yaoi magazine. Cleverly tacking pictures, He hides his camera in his pouch. He goes up to his door and knocks crazy like. **

**Confused seeing Itachi answer the door Naruto backs away just a tad. **

" **I thought you two didn't like each other?" Naruto said raising an eyebrow.**

" **We may not like each other that doesn't mean we can't see each other once in a while. Itachi says while glaring at the brown head Naruto. Itachi then stares strangely at Naruto's Hair.**

" **What." Naruto mumbled.**

" **Have you looked at your self recently?" Itachi asked. **

" **No. Why do you ask?" Itachi pulls out a mirror from nowhere. Naruto confused asked a stupid question.**

" **Where did you get that?" Itachi, Not answering, points the mirror at Naruto. **

" **OMG! WHAT THE HELL!" Naruto screamed. Not caring Naruto asked. " Where is Sasuke?" **

" **He hasn't been here for two days. Do you know where he is?" Itachi asked.**

" **If I did I wouldn't be asking you!" Naruto yelled. Itachi picked his nose and flicked a booger at Naruto. Naruto evading it like a true ninja smacked face first in the wall. The booger still flying smacked Kakashi in the eye while he was walking by. Falling to ground on his knees crying, Naruto going behind him squats down and says,**

" **This is for that time in the training ground. THOUSND YEARS OF DEATH! Bitch." Naruto screamed while Kakashi went flying. **

**Itachi looking at Naruto weirdly closes the door slowly. Naruto remembering the pictures ran home and avoided the crowed that was still laughing at the clone. On the bitten up computer Naruto uploaded the photos to everyone he had on his friends list plus the world. **

**Itachi getting the e-mail on his I phone sees himself on the picture. Thinking to him self **_**" Whom do I know who was hear?"**_** Thinking hard he remembers Kakashi on the floor crying. He goes outside seeing Kakashi in a tree holding his ass and his eye. Releasing that it does not hurt as much as before he climbs out of the tree and turns around. He gets whacked in the face by a Itachi. **

" **What the hell did I do to you?" Kakashi yelled in pain. **

" **You took pictures of me!" Itachi said. **

" **What kind of pictures?" Kakashi asked curious. **

" **Forget I said anything." Itachi said turning. **

" **Why." Kakashi asked. **

" **I don't remember." Itachi said looking up to the sky. All of a sudden there was a beep. **

" **OO a picture message." Kakashi said happily looking at his awesome phone. Itachi, in a flash remembered what it was and tackled Kakashi before he could see it. Itachi quickly destroyed the phone and blew it up into a million pieces (Just in case) **

**Meanwhile at Naruto's house He remembered he had one friend…Kakashi. **

" **Plan one failed." Naruto said frustrated. He was talking to a clone that was asleep in his bed. **

" **Time to start plan: cannot possibly fail a second time." Naruto said scratching his head. Naruto remembering his hygiene quickly jumped into the shower and washed his body so that it smelled minty fresh. He looked up at his hair and it was his naturally golden silky hair… that somehow defies gravity. **

" **How long has it been since I took a shower." Naruto said talking to himself. Surprisingly getting snapped by a clone with a towel and screaming in pain Naruto fell to the floor holding his butt cheek. **

" **This isn't going to end pretty." The clone said to its self and poofs away. While holding his butt he got up.**

"**Dammit little bastard ran away." He said to himself. He passed out on his bed almost in an instant. The next day Naruto sees out his window Tenten and Neji holding hands. Neji quickly sees Naruto and lets go of Tenten's hand. Tenten looks at Naruto with great hatred in her eyes. Naruto quickly looks away to find that Neji is in his home. **

"**How did you get in hear so fast?" Naruto said with a confused look on his face.**

"**Ill pound your face in if you tell anyone about this." said Neji. Tenten overheard the conversation. Barging in the house with lightning speed Tenten slapped Neji and Naruto (for no reason).**

"**This date is over!"**** screamed Tenten. Naruto with a swollen face started to laugh at Neji. Neji glared at naruto.**

"**NARUTO! IM GOING TO KILL YOU."**** Yelled Neji. Naruto thinking quickly remembered his camera. **

"**I need to show you something Neji." naruto said. Neji looked at Naruto with great inpatients in his eyes.**

"**What." Neji said fiercely. **

"**Look." Naruto said quickly. Neji saw the pictures.**

"**What am I looking at here?" Neji said with a confused look on his face. **

"**Its pictures of Sasuke reading yaoi magazines." Naruto said. Neji smacked naruto on the head.**

"**Do you think I'm an idiot." Neji said.**

"**Yes." Naruto hesitantly said. Neji smacked Naruto again.**

"**Do you really think I wouldn't… see… this…is." Neji paused.**

"**Omg." Neji said with a surprised look on his face.**

"**Itachi is reading… he's reading."**

"**Yes I no." Naruto interrupts. Neji smacks Naruto again for trying to blackmail Sasuke. **

"**Owww." Naruto said in pain. **

"**Well you deserved it and you know it." Neji said sharply. **

"**Lets blackmail Sasuke." He said with a smirk face.**

"**Let's do it!" screamed naruto. **

"**I already made the plans for Sasuke." Said Naruto excited. **

"**Let me see." Neji said.**

"**Where the hell are we going to get an elephant." Neji screamed.**

"**Let me do it ok." Neji said. Naruto gave Neji a piece of paper and pencil and he started to work. Five Minutes Later **

"**Finished." Neji said. **

"**Finally." Naruto said tiredly. **

"**Well genius takes time." Neji said. Besides it took only 5 minutes. **

"**Really. Hmm oh you're right. Can I see it." Naruto said excitingly.**

"**Here." Said Neji.**

"**Wow. You really can make up good plans." Said Naruto. **

"**Thanks, I guess." Said Neji.**

"**Do you know where Sasuke is?" Naruto asked.**

"**No." Neji said.**

"**Damn." Naruto exclaimed.**

"**It only works if he is here huh?" Naruto asked.**

"**Well actually." Neji said.**

"**So we don't need Sasuke here." Naruto asked.**

"**Nope." Neji said.**

"**Sweet. Lets go." Said naruto with an evil look in his eye. Naruto and Neji walk outside to go to Sasuke's house. Being sneaky, they stealthily brake into his house avoiding Itachi. Placing down mouse traps in the doorway. Then in the hallway they put down some oil slick with a special surprise at the end. In the next room is Neji, with a chicken suit at hand. Then at the end of the room is Naruto with his camera.**

"**Your plan needs Sasuke in the village doesn't it?" Naruto screams.**

"**Shhhhhh." Neji says. While covering Naruto mouth with his hand. Itachi overhears them and gets up from the couch. **

"**O Kay." Itachi said with a confused look on his face. **

"**Is he dumb." Naruto says with a dumbstruck look on his face.**

"**I guess he is." Neji says.**

"**Could you make a better plan Neji." Said Naruto. Neji glared at Naruto.**

"**Do you think you could do better? Then try." Neji said with a smirk.**

"**Fine." Naruto said. So he got a piece of paper and started working.**

Five Hours Later

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz." Neji fell asleep while naruto worked. Naruto starts poking Neji to wake him but fails. So he kicks him.

"**That was a bad idea." Naruto thought to himself. Neji woke up with a mad look on his face. He goes over to naruto and smacks him. **

"**What was that for." Neji said violently. Naruto backed up into a wall scared but suddenly remembered that he was the one who beat Neji in the Chunin Exams.**

"**Don't you forget Neji I beat you in the Chunin Exams." Naruto said confidently. Neji smirked at Naruto.**

"**Whatever." Neji said in disappointing voice. Naruto was being cocky about winning against Neji. Neji got a depressed look on his face. **

"**Just think about it Neji, I'm better then you." Naruto said with his eyebrows up.**

"**How's that." Neji said curiously.**

"**You hit me like a million times and I got you once. See the difference." Naruto said in a weird voice.**

"**Ne…ji…ple…ez…stop…choking me." Naruto said in pain.**

"**Huff huff. What's your deal?" Naruto said.**

"**Shut up Naruto that's personal. You no I was drunk on whine coolers." Neji said.**

"**LIAR!" screamed Naruto.**

"**Ok whatever lets see the plan." Neji said. Naruto hand over the paper to Neji. **

"**Hmmm this might work." Says Neji.**

"**Might! It will." Said Naruto**

"**Ok ok Lets go." Neji said. **


End file.
